the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
