Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
