I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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