The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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