Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
