i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
