I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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