he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
