I hope my margaritas pass through security.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
