I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
