So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
