It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
