Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
