I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
