its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
