i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
