how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
