Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
