ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
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