Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
