i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i used baking grease as lip gloss
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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