it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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