Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
