Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
