Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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