Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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