I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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