i don't really know how much tequila is too much
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
