Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
