We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
