The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
So. Much. Porn.
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