I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
