How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize
