oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I can't turn off my feet"
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
