i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
