Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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