Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Randomize
