Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
