sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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