i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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