it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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