I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
