My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
