He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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