I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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