Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
