i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I need mimosas to revive my soul
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
