I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
