I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
