I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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