Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
