If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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